Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Have Your Say

I occasionally try to have my comments published on the BBC News "Have Your Say" website. I am rarely successful...


DEBATE:
Elections 2007: Will you be voting?
COMMENT:
We have many burning local issues in this part of Surrey, but I'll willingly vote for whichever candidate can guarantee that I will never again be doorstepped by Edwina Currie. Terrifying.
COMMENT STATUS:Awaiting moderation


DEBATE:
Has the government the right green policies?
COMMENT:
Interesting that those who believe global warming to be a fantasy created by Blair, "Greens" and "Lefties" seem also to be unable to spell, punctuate or construct a coherent sentence. It could be argued that this strongly suggests them to be morons, but I've heard there's some evidence to the contrary. So that's all right then.
COMMENT STATUS:Unpublished


DEBATE:
How should society tackle gun crime?
COMMENT:
Call me old-fashioned, but surely we could give these disaffected youths a few guns and their own island where they could savage each other to their hearts' content. It could be filmed as a "reality" T.V. show and the profits given to their victims.
COMMENT STATUS:Unpublished


DEBATE:
Are young people too hung up on body image?
COMMENT:
"Are young people too hung up on body image?" Yes, probably, but then young people tend to be hung up just about everything that doesn't matter, and most of them will grow out of it. Let's stop pretending this is important.
RECOMMENDED BY:2 people
COMMENT STATUS:Published


DEBATE:
Is the Anglican Church right to issue gay ultimatum?
COMMENT:
The sight of this bunch of delusional bigots slapping feebly at each other is not totally without entertainment value, but I fear it will soon become tiresome. As a suggestion for those torturing themselves on points of dogma, I would paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut's simple creed. "Believe whatever harmless lies you like, as long as they make you happy, healthy, brave and kind." Works for me...
COMMENT STATUS:Unpublished


DEBATE:
Should all UK imports and exports of poultry be halted?
COMMENT:
Yet another piece of misdirection - what will this ideologically and morally discredited government try to slide by unnoticed while this nonsense holds our attention? Incidentally, on the radio this morning someone referred to the national poultry "herd". Thank God we at least avoided a stampede. Yeehah.
RECOMMENDED BY:2 people
COMMENT STATUS:Published


DEBATE:
Why is the north fatter than the south?
COMMENT:
Surely the simplest way round this problem is to adopt the approach used so many times before in areas as wide-ranging as education, measuring inflation, unemployment and so on. If we were to move the goal-posts redefine obesity as "over forty stone" then most people in the U.K., North and South would comfortably fall into the "normal" category again. Problem solved.
COMMENT STATUS:Unpublished


DEBATE:
How can we tackle childhood obesity?
COMMENT:
Surely we could solve the problem by providing fat children with an exercise wheel like those used by hamsters. Connected to the National Grid these devices could go a long way towards solving Britain's energy problems without resorting to nuclear power or unsightly wind turbines.
COMMENT STATUS:Unpublished


DEBATE:
How should Britain prepare for Bird Flu?
COMMENT:
I'm greatly encouraged by the news that the 'flu has been contracted by a domestic cat - perhaps I can now look forward to H5N1 wiping out the bands of marauding squirrels which spend each summer enthusiastically violating my wife's hanging baskets. Come to think of it I won't shed any tears over next door's Jack Russell either. Bring it on.
COMMENT STATUS:Unpublished

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know, if you put the fat kids on the hamster wheels, that will help with green issues and, because the kids are so busy and tired, there will eventually be less gun crime. Put the wheels in a quarantined area and they will be safe from bird flu.
You always seem to have the answers.

LibertyBob

David said...

Thanks for listening.