I've always had a thing about the quantity and variety of Hidden Stuff. What I mean is this: we're all aware of the limitations of our senses (obviously some of us are more limited than others, and I've met people who are so limited they're certifiably dangerous). Over the centuries we've made machines to allow us to compensate for those limitations, either by taking an existing sense and improving it (telescopes and microscopes), or by turning the Hidden Stuff into something that can be identified by an existing sense (Geiger counters allow us to hear radiation. Obviously we can also identify radiation by throwing up, watching our hair and teeth fall out and producing three-headed children, but that's more of a long-term thing. Geiger counters are probably the preferred option, even though they make a curiously irritating noise.)
Anyway, the point I'm labouring towards is this: WHAT THE FUCK ELSE MIGHT BE OUT THERE?! Not that I'm panicky about it or anything, but there must be all kinds of weird Hidden Stuff. All around. Everywhere. Take a rock, for example. Try to list its attributes. Big. Heavy. Grey. Hard. Dense. Lichen-covered. Foop.
Foop? Yeah, foop. I don't claim to fully understand it, what it is or what it does, but I'm telling you, the world would be a very different place if we didn't have foop. Do all rocks have foop? Of course they do, that's the most important thing about rocks. Big? Grey? Heavy? Not important. Foop, mate, that's what's important. What do you mean you can't see it? You didn't see the radiation either, did you, baldy? If you're going to argue you can take that ugly three-headed kid of yours and fuck right off.
And what if it applies to man-made objects? Cities, for example. You and I might not see the point of, say, Leicester, but, not so fast! If it wasn't for Leicester's emissions of thok, well, who knows what might happen? And what if it applies to people!? You might think that Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott (to take a random example) is a pointless, ugly, short-tempered, obese tub of lard. Maybe so, but it's only the amount of slub John emits that stops the Universe tearing itself apart! Think of it! There might be a point to Celine Dion!
Depressing thought, that.
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Bugbear n. 1. A thing that causes obsessive anxiety. 2. (In English folklore) A goblin in the shape of a bear.
3 comments:
We will help guide you humans to understand all of that crap when you are ready. And no, there is no good reason for Celine Dion.
LibertyBob
You sure about Celine? She has to be full of something that causes boredom and (eventually) panic and anger.
The cause for the boredom and such is the vacuousness of the event. Since there is absolutely nothing there, all the life gets sucked out of the environment. Nature abhors a vacuum, that's why forests are so dirty.
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