Stickers

Coming to work this morning I ended up behind a car with a sticker in the back window which read "Twins On Board". Now apart from the fact that it was early in the morning, and therefore I was probably a bit grumpy to begin with, why did that drive me into a rage? In fact, it infuriated me far more than twice as much as simple "Baby On Board" stickers.

There's only one point to these bloody stickers, and that's to declare "We've got a baby and we're very proud". I've nothing against that sentiment, but I'd like to point out to these morons that lots of people, many of them extremely stupid and some of them genuinely evil, also have babies. Nobody's impressed. Have a sticker reading "Nobel Prize Winner" in your car and people will be impressed.

And anyway, what about the tragically childless couples who see the sticker? Why not have a sign saying "High Sperm Count" to really piss them off? Or better still, "Sterile? Losers." Or "You Will Die Unloved And Alone And Be Eaten By Your Own Cats."

Maybe it's not malicious but just a lifestyle statement of some kind. I suppose it's no worse than the "funny" stickers, most of which seem to have disappeared, thankfully. Remember rusting Fords with "My Other Car Is A Porsche" in the back window? Hey listen you imbecile, try replacing it with "I'm Ashamed Of My Car And Have No Perceptible Sense Of Humour"; or "I'm The Kind Of Person Who Buys "I Came All The Way To London And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt" T-shirts" Both of those will improve your credibility.

Feel better now.