Stickers (2)

A while ago I started foaming at the mouth about "Baby On Board" stickers.

This morning on the way to work I see one that reads "Small Person On Board". I begin to retch. There's no alternative. I overtake on a blind bend and pull in in front, forcing the bastard to stop. I leap from the car, intending to scream abuse at the driver for his sheer twee-ness.

The car door opens, and there in front of me, boots still smouldering from being shot from the cannon, head criss-crossed with the pattern of the safety-net mesh, clothes still damp from landing in the Thames the first couple of shots, is a midget in full clown make-up.

He pulls a piece of four-by-two from the car and gives me a sound drubbing.

And that's why I was late for my eight o'clock meeting.