Thursday, April 29, 2004

When A Plan Comes Together

A spokesman for Surrey Police today stoutly defended the arrest of a Reigate man on suspicion of involvement in terrorist activity. Detective Inspector Bill Filth, interviewed on this programme, denied that the authorities had "over-reacted" in arresting the man, who is believed to be of Arab origin, but cannot be named for legal reasons.

Acting on a tip-off, police carried out a raid at three a.m. yesterday morning, taking the man into custody and seizing what they described as "incriminating video evidence" and "bomb-making equipment". Detective Inspector Filth told us "The videos are really quite alarming. There are 94 of them, and they show how to make lethal weapons out of simple household items. The cocoa-tin, inner-tube and bread-bin grenade-launcher could devastate Central London, once the Coke-cans filled with exploding stuff made from weird things at the back of the fridge were ready. As for the bomb-making equipment, well, you tell me what else a battery, an alarm clock and a pair of pliers could be used for."

D.I. Filth described the claims made by the man's family that he merely had an unhealthy obsession with the 1980s T.V. show "The A-Team" as "ridiculous". He remarked "I've been in the policing game for twenty years, and I've yet to meet an Arab with any interest in that T.V. programme. They all think it's shit."

A White House spokesman described the arrest as "an encouraging development in the War against Terror", and promised that "a really nice present" was on the way to Mr. Blair.

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