Reasons why Britain is better than America

There are a lot of blogs concentrating on "political" stuff, which these days means that they're either written by Americans telling Europeans that they're a bunch of whining Saddamites or Europeans telling Americans that they're nothing but Nazis. The latter is clearly not true. Nazis, or at least the S.S., had much better dress-sense. (Black and red is still so sexy, while Americans dress like Rupert The Bear. ) Incidentally - nobody thought the S.S. were camp until "Cabaret" - before then they were dead scary.

I'd like to get away from politics and personalities and concentrate on the real basics. This will be an occasional and irregular series, and in fact may fizzle out altogether, because I get bored easily. I will be basing my observations on my in-depth knowledge of America gained from watching British T.V. since childhood and from having visited Buffalo, N.Y. for three weeks in 1990. My sound grasp of Britain, its culture, its people, and where to buy the best drugs, has been gathered during rare but vivid periods of sobriety over the last thirty years of living here. If you can call it living.

As on all other blogs, an almost complete ignorance of any subject will not prevent me from forming and sharing an opinion, using excessive violence if necessary.

I reserve the right to go off on a totally different tangent if I feel like it, and never come back.


Some important reasons why Britain is better than America.

1) In Britain, if you have to go into a forest, even at night, it's very unlikely that you will be killed and eaten by an animal.
There has to be an implicit emphasis on the words "indigenous" and "species" here. Obviously if there's been a major breakout at the zoo, or the Animal Liberation Front have breached security at a nearby research facility, resulting in the unexpected liberation of a large number of rampaging carnivorous, errm, things that might be monkeys but you can't be sure because they've mutated to the point where they're not easily identifiable as any known animal, then all bets are off. But it's unlikely. And in any case they might eat the A.L.F.s and fall asleep, and then you'd be okay.

Oh, but if you are sleeping rough and you smell like a dustbin, foxes might try to chew bits off you. I forgot about that one.

They probably are monkeys.